Fragile

So, I get home from work around 9:15 2-3 nights a week...Olivia and Steve are usually in her room reading books or talking. So, I take over and there are songs I sing her every night. She sings with me sometimes....Tonight, I was singing to her and stroking her hair. I started thinking of my Grandma K. We spent many nights talking and hugging each other before bed....many in my childhood and many in the last 5 years of her life. I got to thinking about how scared she was at times...especially at night. So I would stay and comfort her until she could go to sleep. Then I saw a flash of her as a baby...as a child. I remembered an epiphany I had at a weekend training a few years ago. I attended a training on assisting those departing this life and the families of those entering this life. One exercise that we did was to list 10 things that you "can't live without." Gradually, you had to give them up. The last card I had said "to be loved." I discussed this with a few fellow attendees after. We were sharing what our last cards were...a new friend, John, blew me away with his last card. It said "to be loving." I just sat there for a moment and then started bawling. You see...I can't control others loving me...but I CAN control being loving to others. Then I got really emotional because it hit me that we all have that fragile babe inside...we were all once that fragile babe...that little one that just wants comfort from another. I want to remember this when I look in the eyes of people I see...I know this won't be easy...but I want to try. I wasn't always as patient as I wished to be with Grandma...it's hard when you are a loved one's care-taker. So thanks for the reminder Grandma K...I miss you.